Contentment

Father God,

Twenty-nine has hit me hard. With 30 peaking around the corner next year, I have somehow inadvertantly allowed my unmet life timeline dictate my joy.  Lord, I pray for my future husband. I know he's out there and I refuse to give up hope. I know you are a faithful God. But protect me, Lord. Somehow I feel more vulnerable than ever before. Vulnerable to giving up hope that there is a perfectly imperfect man out there that I can serve with deep love.
Lord, I feel vulnerable to the temptation to just settle for something counterfit and less than your best. Protect me, Lord. Give me a strength I didn't know was within me to resist the counterfit.  Satan wants nothing more than for my hope to be dashed and my certainty in you to be jaded. But Lord, I just pray that you would surround me today and in the coming weeks.
Lord, give me your wisdom when something is worth continuing to pursue and wisdom when its perfectly okay to allow the door to close.

When the dreams or thoughts of past relationships slip into my mind; allow me to acknowledge them but let them keep on moving. Don't allow me to dwell on the things I cannot change, and help me to stay focused in the present.

Lord, you know I've been praying alongside friends who are also in a season of waiting with infertility.  Father, I beg you to burst forth in this situation and bring them the joy of a child. Father, I just pray that as you make the next steps of the journey so clear, that you would just let your glory shine all over their situation.  I don't understand it, Lord...but I cling to the facts I know to be true.

You are a loving God, and you have a higher view point than our finite view.
You are ferocious pursuer and you will not let any time be wasted on an opportunity to draw your children closer to you.

Lord, I have no idea what I'm doing with my future. But I know it's in your hands.  I just want to know your heart for my future, Lord.  I will take it one day at a time, but I just pray that you will continue to purify and chip away the chipped pieces of my heart.

Lord,
Thanks for listening to my heart when it feels just so many things.  Make yourself present to me Lord. Guide me and direct me, in the ways that only you can.  You are the greatest romantic out there...thanks for pursuing me always in just the ways I need pursued.

You are the best, God.

Audrey