Just as I am

Just as I am, without one plea,
but that thy blood was shed for me
and that Thou bidst me come to Thee,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Vintage. This word in its purist form means, "2. Characterized by excellence, maturity, and enduring appeal; classic." I think this adjective sums up the timeless hymn, "Just as I am" that has been echoing throughout my mind today. These age old words ring true today more than ever.

"Just as I am." Wow...these words are powerful. How often do we...do I...search for someone or something to accept us just the way we are? Someone who's love is not conditional, but someone who sees the deepest parts of who we are (the best and the worst) and loves us anyway. The person who can unravel our masks of perfection and "having it together" and encourage us that in our weakness it his He who is strong. We long for some security in knowing that we will not be left alone, because this love for me "just the way I am" is sturdy and indestructible.

If I'm honest, sometimes I find myself angry with God for the qualities in my personality that I don't care so much for. I work, I strive, and actually believe some days that if I just tried a little harder to be who I think God wants me to be and who I want to be---that I may actually get there. However, I think there are many flaws in my logic here. Essentially, by spending so much time trying to "become" who God wants me to be, I lose sight of the fact that I am already who he wants me to be. Nothing I can do will make him love me anymore or any less. Does he want me to grow? Absolutely. But will he love me when I don't achieve my goal of becoming a morning person, and hit the snooze button instead? Will he still love me in my moments of laziness and irresponsibility? YES!

In a world where we place so many conditions on other people to "earn" respect...to earn our trust...to earn our devotion, it's always refreshing to come back to that place of solace--where we don't have to "earn" anything. The gift is free--and it's already been paid in full. As I celebrate that free gift Christ has given me, I also want to learn to rejoice in who he has designed me to be. I want to crave that place and relationship with God, where he sees right through my exterior and straight to me heart. I will run to the place where "just as I am" is "more than enough".

I don't need to search for that someone or something to accept me the way that I am--because I am gently supported in the arms of the only unconditional giver of life and love--my heavenly father.

Lord,

I can't begin to thank you for loving me just as I am. How tiring it can be to not allow ourselves the same grace that you have given us already. I just pray that as I learn to further understand your unconditional love, it would become a natural outpouring of who I am. Thanks for loving every part of me---the good and the not so good.

Amen!