Rereading the book Captivating the other night. I came across this section and just thought that it was just what God has been speaking into my life.

"God wants to live this life together with you, to share in your days and decisions, your desires and disappointments. He wants intimacy with you in the midst of the madness and mundane, the meetings and memos, the laundry and lists, the carpools and conversations and projects and pain. He wants to pour his love into your heart and he longs to have you pour your into his. He wants your deep heart, that center place within that is the trues you. He is not interested in intimacy with the woman you think you are supposed to be. He wants intimacy with the real you." (p.121)

Oh my goodness... Lord...that struck me in the deepest corners of my heart. I am constantly trying to come before you acting like the woman I think you want me to be. I am not real with you. Even though you know me better than I know myself...I have this unconscious belief that if I pretend and hide, you will love me. But you really want to know me. To know my deepest fears, insecurities, short comings. You want me to speak to you as a best friend, confidant, and father.

Why am I so afraid of the person you have created me to be? You have purpose for my life. I want to adventure with you and I want to captivate you Lord. Please be with me on this journey.