And even when the trees have just surrendered To the harvest time Forfeiting their leaves in late September And sending us inside Still I notice You when change begins And I am braced for colder winds I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
-Nichole Nordeman

Lord,

I love the lyrics of Nichole Nordeman's song. Lord, as I brace for new things to come this semester, I just want to thank you for the season of life this summer has been for me. You have been at work in me. I have no doubt that you will continue to work in me. In this next season, show me how to love more deeply and with less self-centerdeness. I pray for your guidance as I try to balance the demands of school, internship, social life, church, and work. Although I may not be able to fully dedicate myself to a specific mission organization right now, I pray that wherever I go--I will be part of your mission field. I pray for intentionality in relationships with others and just that out these natural relationships--you would be evident in me and spring up conversation that brings you glory and honor.

I don't want to live the status quo. I want to live with meaning and purpose, Lord. I know that sometimes difficult things will happen. I just pray that you would be my source of strength when things are difficult.

Lord you know those on my heart that just need to experience you more. I just pray that you would make yourself present in new ways that captivate their hearts and draw them to your love.

I love you:) Thanks for listening!

Couldn't ask for anything more!

Lord,

I just want to express my utmost gratitude. You have exceeded all of my expectations of what Rochester could be. I am learning what it means to live in authentic community. I am so blessed with all the Amazing people I am meeting on this journey. I'll be honest, some days I almost feel guilty that I am enjoying life so much right now. I know I need to be a little more cautious with my money budgeting but I just don't want to miss a beat here. I want to experience it all. I don't know if I will be here past May, so I just want to see it all. My heart is just so happy, I want each day to have it's fullest potential....taking care of my responsibilities of school and internship, but also being intentional about living life with others. This means going out for coffee..runs...adventures and enjoying the little things in life. I am content. Not artificial--contentment--but deep down belly fuzzy true contentment. My focus is shifting from longing for life to be a certain way...to accepting and thriving with joy about where you have me now. I look forward to all that is in store. I pray that you would just continue to bring people in my life who encourage me to grow deeper with you and live out my faith.

This morning, I got up at the crack of dawn and went to the downtown farmers market in Rochester with my friends. It's a crisp autumn day, and the aromas of candied almonds and fresh baked bread permeated the air. The vibrant colors of fruits and vegetables splattered rows and rows of tables. I wish I had a camera to capture it! I grabbed a whoopie pie from an amish stand. It filled the little void of home that I missed on this morning since all of my family is coming together today in Lancaster and I will not be there. Then got some chai tea at a cute coffee shop to warm me up and perused the isles for the best deal on my fruits and veggies for the week. I love that the farmers markets provides vouchers for low-income families. It is often difficult for families with limited incomes to afford the cost of fresh produce that is so essential to healthy diets. This is a great option for them...and grad students with limited incomes too:).

On the way home, I had a great conversation with my friend and fellow GRAD student Leonna. We were talking about what we hope our lives to look like in the future. What it would mean to live out faith authentically. I dream of living in a low-income area with a husband who has a heart for people to0. I want to provide hospitality in my home and have that as a ministry. Not telling people...You need Jesus....but just developing relationships with neighbors. Meeting people where they are at in life. I just don't want to do it alone. I continue to pray that the Lord would bring a man into my life who has a same desire and would want to embark on that adventure with me. I place no expectations that this is what the Lord will do, but I see it as my ideal life. I pray that the Lord will lead me wherever he could use me. Wherever that may be and with whoever that means I will navigate my life with.

Well I need to get some homework done before babysitting tonight. Signing of with Chris Tomlin lyrics that I really am enjoying right now. Lord, I just pray for the week ahead. That you would provide me with the energy to get everything completed and just really give you glory through it all. Lord, I lift up the people in my life who are hurting right now. Whether that be struggles with relationships, health issues, finances, life transitions, etc. I pray that your holy spirit would fill each person's heart and guide them to peace amidst the struggle.

With love,

Aud

Here I bring my stains and crowns
Gentle river wash me now
Your love is deeper than I know
Your ways higher than I can go

Lead me in Your holiness
I will follow, I confess
Glory is the song I sing
Your life is living me

And where would I be
Without You, without You?
Where would I be
Without You?

I will bow before the cross
Cherish my Redeemer's cost
There is nothing I can do
But only stand amazed by You

Mercy new with every day
Wrapped up in Your arms of grace
Nothing more, You're all I need
Your life is living me

Like a waterfall
You fill my heart and overflow
Like a candle flame
You light my way
And lead me as I go

Spirit overflow
Let me overflow

Outflow

What a FANTASTIC Labor Day Weekend. The Lord has definitely been just rejuvenating my sound through friends and fun. Friday night, I went to the Rascal Flatts concert. It was the best concert I have ever been to and it was such a blessing to bond with Marti (I rent a room in her house). Then, Saturday I slept in and then went to the Waterloo outlets for some shopping. This had been on my Rochester to-do list, and it was a great time. In the evening, I went to a friend's home in the city for a bar-b-que. It was a fun time and a great chance to meet so many new people! Plus, I made Banana Bars on Friday for the event and they were a delicious taste of home:)

The weather here as been getting cooler! It almost feels like Fall. I must admit, while I am in no way happy to see summer go, I am eager for the cozy and crisp feeling of Fall. At 7 am this morning, I embarked on a 10 mile run with two friends as we prepare for the last leg of our training for the Rochester Half-Marathon next Sunday!!! We ran along the canal and in that 90 minutes, I just felt God's presence. He assured me that I am where I need to be right now and he asked me to keep pursuing him, even when it hurts. So then, I went to church.

Once again, I felt God taping on my shoulder. For months now, I've been praying that God would help me to be less self-focused and more others-focused. I wish I could say I no longer think about myself and solely think about others....but that would not be true. But my heart is eager to live an authentic, natural life of serving others that pours out my love for Christ. So, as I was sitting in church today, it was ironic that the pastor announced the next series would be title Outflow...and there is a study book that the congregation was encouraged to follow. As I purchased the book, I had to think...God is really listening. I want to be the hands and feet of Christ. I don't always want to choose the comfortable or easy path because it is best for me. I just pray that through the next year, I will see a difference.

I remember in high school, there was one Christian guy who was the most kind and compassionate male I have ever met. He was in the school bible study. Everytime I saw him though, I thought to myself, "I don't want him to be nice to me just because he feels bad for me...or is trying to sell faith to me, because he doesn't know I am a believer." It's sad that I thought that way, because his intentions probably were genuine. But I have to think about what other non-believers think when Christians reach out to them. I think that it is only through a genuine and intimate relationship with Christ, that we begin to overflow into others naturally. Not in a way that makes them feel like we are just doing our Christian duty, but we do it in a way that says...."You are worth it. I want to get to know you. I see great things in you." And that is why I pray that through delving into my relationship with Christ...I could find that balance and outflow naturally into the lives of others. Through social work I have found...this life is definitely not about me. It is about each person who is a child of God. In the words of a song on my IPOD, "We all need saving sometimes." It's about being vulnerable with others and living life together. Lord, please show me what it means to love people in the most genuine way possible.

Eat Pray Love

This afternoon, I splurged and went to the movies to see Eat, Pray, Love. I'll be honest, I wasn't thrilled about it and some of the messages it portrayed. However, there were some aspects that sent me thinking about my journey to Rochester. The movie is centered around a woman who wakes up one day and decides that she no longer wants to be married and so she gets divorced. She then gets into a fling with a younger man and discovers that what she really needs is balance in life. She runs away for a years journey in Italy, India, and Bali. Unfortunately, the movie portrays it as a good practice to run away and find yourself whenever life gets hard. Personally, I feel that sometimes we find ourselves most when we engage in the difficult, everyday life struggles.

Anyhow, the movie focuses on the relationships created along the woman's journey which help her achieve, "balance". I did however really like this theme. I've seen it most in my journey in Rochester. Now, I did not necessarily come to Rochester to run away for a while. I have a distinct purpose for being here to get my MSW. But I find so much truth in how God has created us each for relationship. Not only relationship with each other, but with Him. And sometimes the two relationships go hand in hand. I don't want to be on a journey that is solely about me, like in the movie. I want to be on a journey that is about other people. Every person has a story. They have unimaginable wisdom and can teach us so much. I want to look at each person, and treat them as if they have so much to teach me. I want to dig deeper with people and hear their experiences with God. I want to be passionate about those around me. But most of all, I do not want to write anybody off. I never want anyone to feel like they have to prove themselves to me. Authentic. Genuine. Real. I hope these are the kinds of relationships I can continue to foster here in Rochester and beyond.

Right now I have a bucket list that I am trying to complete. I get excited about each new adventure. But I hope each adventure is less about me, and more about truly taking in the blessings of God in each adventure. Big or Small. I want to be focused on what God is doing in every moment and I want to think about my hopes and dreams, less.

What would it look like, if we saw each person as valuable? I don't just mean, being respectful to everyone. I mean....what if we tried to truly get to know everyone. What if we didn't immediately judge or label people? I know this is all a little too utopian, but I think it is worth thinking about. Jesus was that ultimate person who loved people regardless of their flaws. Believe me, I am a very flawed person myself. How humbling would it be to encounter people in everyday who just desire to listen, think, and pray for one another.

Anyways...those are just my thought processes after seeing the movie. I think the woman in the movie did not have to fly across the world to find balance. I think she just needed to be intentional about pursuing God and letting his love outpour into relationships around her.

Tomorrow: RASCAL FLATTS!!!!!!! This has been on my life to do list for a while. I'm glad I get the chance to do it tomorrow. I want others to experience God and I pray that He would somehow use a nobody like me to make even a dent of difference. God has given me a season of singleness and I hope that through this season......I will learn how to love like Christ and to take advantage of every opportunity!

That's all for now:)

Aud

Optimistic and Hopeful

Lord,

You are so good. You know my heart had been down and out for a little while since I had returned back to Rochester. Yesterday I started my field class and I feel really excited about the professor and the opportunity to grow with my social work peers as we navigate our way through our field placements. Today,I got my photo ID taken at the school district. Although I only encountered the secretary, it was one of the first positive experiences I have had there. Thanks for that blessing. I pray that I will continue to have positive interactions with everyone I meet and work with there. I got errands done, and got a jump start on reading by the pool:) Then....I had PLAY THERAPY. I think this quite possibly could be my absolute favorite class. It is right up my alley, seems like a manageable workload, and a topic that I LOVE! My professor is great too!

Lord, I just feel optimistic about the future today. I'm letting go of fears about what comes after May. That will take care of itself once I get there. You already have an amazing plan in place. My prayer now is that you would just prepare me in the here and now for what is to come post-graduation. And I am preparing myself, that this next journey may be require me to walk it alone (not completely alone...with you, of course). And today...I feel at peace with that. I pray that you will give me passion to pursue my field work and class work with joy and excitement.

I Lord, I pray for all those struggling right now with jobs, etc. Your ways are higher, Lord. Thanks for turning a new leaf. I think I am finally ready to embrace all that is Rochester, again.

I love you!

Audrey

When Silence Reigns

Lord,

Thank you for such beautiful weather. The beat of the sun mixed with the cool breeze made it the perfect day to relax outdoors. I'll admit Lord, today felt lonely. I had so much time alone with my thoughts. Too much time to question myself, my lack of male friends, etc. Lord, please help me to have an open mind tonight. Help me to enjoy myself and take advantage of getting to know my new roommate better. Lord, I desire your peace right now with my life situation. No matter how much I try not to dwell on my life circumstances...I can't do it alone. Lord, I pray for the week ahead, that you would just be present as things hopefully progress with field placement. Lord I just pray for contentment in you, if it be your will. I pray for a life that is honoring to you in how I interact with others, use my time,finances, and talents.

In your name,

Audrey

Undone

Come undone, surrender is stronger
I don’t need to be the hero tonight
We all want love we all want honor
Nobody wants to pay the asking price

-FFH

Lord,

Thank you for being my constant in the ever-changing world around me. My heart is yours and yours alone, Lord. Thank you for being my keeper and protector. I pray that you will guard my heart from here on out. Thank you for allowing me to surrender things to you and leave them in your care. Thank you for strengthening me as I had to reface things that I had surrendered. Even though sometimes it feels like surrender does make me come undone, it frees me up to your ultimate will for me. Lord, I don't need to try and seek explanation for why things happen the way they do. I am able to trust you have it in your hands and I don't need to try and figure it out. I pray that I will continue to see things from your higher perspective. As I return back to Rochester Lord, guide me on this journey and help me to invest in things that will bring you eternal glory. It's all about your design for my life now, Lord.

Lots of love,

Audrey

Seasons

So, after five intense weeks I have finally finished summer courses for grad school. It's hard to believe that I have been in Rochester for over three months now. Time has flown by and God has just been teaching me so much in these last few months. This morning, I was thinking about seasons of life. I was thinking how nice it is that seasons of life are always changing. Perhaps for some they don't change like they would have wished, but overall seasons of life change. I just want to praise God for each of the seasons I've been through and am going through right now. Through each season God has allowed me to meet so many great people. What a blessing. I look forward to the many seasons to come and the great friends I have yet to meet along the way!

There have been some stressful moments the last few weeks with school logistics. In those moments I get so caught up in the stress, that sometimes I lose touch with what really matters. It's so funny how God always works things out in the end, and yet somehow I always get anxious when the stress comes pouring over me. I pray that I can look to the future with confidence that God has planned a better story for me than I can plan for myself. He already has!

Heavenly Father, as I come to a point of break from the demands of classes, papers, and projects, I ask that you would fill me with your peace. Allow me to take you in with every moment and experience that is presented to me. Let me not take a single moment for granted and allow me to experience your character more each day. Please just have your hand upon friends, new and old. Whatever their struggles, I lift them up to you and ask that each person would feel your comforting hand. Thanks for loving me, even when I don't deserve it. Thanks for revealing yourself to me through everyday people. And thanks for sending your Son in my place.

Much love,

Audrey

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8:

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to rend, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war and a time of peace.

Letting Go

Sometimes in life, we hold onto things. They could be hopes, dreams, relationships, etc. But sometimes when we place so much weight in these things we hold onto, they take our focus off God.This last week has been all over the place. It was stressful and hectic, and then fun and chill. But the difference between these different feelings was one thing; I decided to let go. There have been some things in my heart that I had been hoping for, praying for, and pretty much telling God I needed to happen. I can't even really explain what it was, but I reached a point where I genuinely and authentically let these things go to God. For me, letting go is not just letting go in my mind. It is taking physical action to do things that will sever whatever is binding me to anything that separates me from God. It's weird. I feel so much more vulnerable without these dreams that I have let go. And now, God is free to do whatever he needs from me. In an interview this week, I was asked if I would stay in Rochester if a job opened up. It's still too early in the game for any big decisions, but my heart is opening up to wherever God leads. It's liberating and exciting but frightening all at the same time. I think if nothing else, God has brought me to Rochester to grow in ways that I could not have grown in the comfort of my home town. I know God knows me better than I know me, and He will continue to lead me to places where I can grow closer to Him. What a faithful God!

Overwhelmed

Well, it's been quite some time since my last post. Life has been so busy and I feel like a bee flying from one place to the next. There has definitely been some fun along the way. It was so great to get to celebrate a childhood friend's wedding this last weekend and see many old friends again. I also had the chance to meet my nephew for the first time since he was born. Let's just say it was love at first sight:) This week was supposed to be plagued with papers and projects. Thankfully, they were mostly moved until next week. It's a blessing to have more time, but I just am feeling overwhelmed by how much is due.

Today, I decided to dedicate most of my day to school work before class, with the exception of a morning run. I felt confident I would get a whole lot done. However, I ended up spending more time on one project that took the entire day. So, my to do list is still long. I just pray that the Lord would guide me with diligence and time management to get it all done. Sometimes, my perfectionist ways prevent me from just getting things done. I'm struggling for balance right now. I want to be a good student and do well, but I also don't want to fall back into old habits of neglecting social and personal time. hm....so much to ponder, but I need to get ready for class.

Lord, I just pray that in all I say and do, you would be glorified. Give me the motivation and time management to do well in all areas of life. Lord, you know my concerns with finding a field placement. I lift them up to you! Please just have your hand on all those who are in pain right now whether emotionally or physically. Place your healing hand upon them, so that they may know your love. Thanks for being my rock, Lord. I'm going to need to rest on your steadfastness for the remainder of my time in graduate school. Praising you for the wonderful news regarding a friend, who has a potential health crisis. Praying that the results continue to be positive.

Amen!

Marveling at God's Promises

Lord,
Words can hardly explain the joy and peace in my heart. It's been a while since I have been in this place of pure contentment. I can honestly say, it is a genuine joy that is exuding out of nothing more than knowing you have it all under control. The last few days have just been so fantastic. You have opened doors to meet new friends, potential babysitting jobs, and a church that makes me want to draw closer to you each day. I pray Lord, that I would continue to experience the joy and contentment in you...not just when things are going well, but when there is struggle.
Thank you for bringing me to an institution with professors and staff who truly care about me. I am overwhelmed with emotion thinking of how blessed I am to have this opportunity to learn and grow in my ability to help and serve others and hopefully give you the glory through it all. Lord, I just pray that as I continue to make decisions about my field work, that you would just open my heart to where I could learn the most. If this means, in the original placement, give me an open mind, open heart, and an eagerness to grow. Help me to give the same grace to others that you have given me. And if that is not where I am meant to be, I pray that other doors would open and you would help me to handle the situation with sensitivity.
Lord, it's funny. I was thinking today about how little I have thought about singleness that last few days. I've been having too much fun living life to the fullest and seeking out a new community within Rochester. The bounty of new friendships has been such a blessing. I pray that you would help me to nourish these new relationship and allow them to blossom. Lord, I do lift up the man I will marry someday. I pray that right now you would be at work in his life, and giving him a heart for serving others. Whatever struggles or temptations he may be facing, I just pray that his heart would be turned toward you. I pray that he too can experience the fullness and contentment that are found in you!
I lift up all my friends new and old. Specifically, be with those who are in transition. I pray that doors would open for anticipated jobs. I pray that broken relationships in their lives will be mended. And I pray that through it all, each one will experience you in new and exciting ways.
Thanks for knowing my heart before I even come to you Lord. What a comfort it is to know that we don't always have to know exactly what to say, for you know us and have a full grasp of what we need most--you. I pray that I will not lose sight of the fact that you see the bigger picture and I pray that I can live with the tensions of life knowing that it's all part of a grande scheme of something greater to come. Mold me and shape me, even when it hurts Lord. Use me and show me how I can grow deeper into my relationship with you.
It's been a long day and I need to sleep, but thank you for this day Lord!

Active Pursuit of the Beauty of Freedom in Christ

It's been a little while since my last post. So much has happened in the last few weeks. Being home was so refreshing. I cherished every minute of it. Being back just made me realize how thankful and blessed I am for genuine relationships with family and friends.
I'm still working on developing those kind of relationships here in Rochester and I have no doubt that God will provide new encouraging relationships . But it takes time for those relationships to blossom into something more than acquaintances. I love adventure and I miss having friends to call up who are willing to get up and explore with me. There is so much I want to see and do in Rochester, but it's not nearly as fun to do alone. I'm realizing more and more, that God has created me to be in need of relationship. Predominantly, relationship with him. Although the lonely times here are not fun sometimes, it draws me passionately into my relationship with Christ. He has so much that he wants to teach me, and I pray that I will be open and thirsty for all that he brings. While I actively seek out the thrill of a new adventure, I pray that I will seek Christ with that same enthusiasm.
Since I've been back and have been able to get my classes completed, I am looking ahead at new adventures. I have heard so much about Zumba. I hear it is a great workout and so fun! So, I found a class and I'm doing it! I want to find a church and get involved; either in leading a small group of teen girls or serving out in the community. And, I would love to find some babysitting opportunities. I'm filling up my calender with all the things I want to do, and I will do them whether I have people to do them with or not. Luckily, tomorrow Marti is free and we are going to Letchworth Park (the Grand Canyon of NY). My Rochester Bucket List is filling up, and it is now or never to complete them. I just don't want to take any moment for granted here.
On another note, I am an aunt!! My nephew Elliott James was born on July 10th. He is the most handsome little guy ever and I just can't wait to meet him. Being a distance from family during this exciting time is a challenge. Good thing babies don't remember their first year anyway, right? You better believe that next year, I will be all over spoiling that little man like crazy! I'm looking forward to getting back to Lancaster for a couple days in the 2.5 weeks, and then slipping down to Baltimore to meet Elliott.
Alright, well, I've got an uneventful night ahead of me. So, I think I am going to be a good student and go to a coffee shop and write my extra credit paper and review for my Saturday final.
Lord, I pray that you will fill me with a contentment that only you can provide. Show me where I can be used to bring you glory. I pray that you would give me a humble, genuine spirit that naturally overflows from the joy you bring me. I lift up all those who are lonely and feel lost tonight. Grant them the peace of your touch. Amen.