Marveling at God's Promises

Lord,
Words can hardly explain the joy and peace in my heart. It's been a while since I have been in this place of pure contentment. I can honestly say, it is a genuine joy that is exuding out of nothing more than knowing you have it all under control. The last few days have just been so fantastic. You have opened doors to meet new friends, potential babysitting jobs, and a church that makes me want to draw closer to you each day. I pray Lord, that I would continue to experience the joy and contentment in you...not just when things are going well, but when there is struggle.
Thank you for bringing me to an institution with professors and staff who truly care about me. I am overwhelmed with emotion thinking of how blessed I am to have this opportunity to learn and grow in my ability to help and serve others and hopefully give you the glory through it all. Lord, I just pray that as I continue to make decisions about my field work, that you would just open my heart to where I could learn the most. If this means, in the original placement, give me an open mind, open heart, and an eagerness to grow. Help me to give the same grace to others that you have given me. And if that is not where I am meant to be, I pray that other doors would open and you would help me to handle the situation with sensitivity.
Lord, it's funny. I was thinking today about how little I have thought about singleness that last few days. I've been having too much fun living life to the fullest and seeking out a new community within Rochester. The bounty of new friendships has been such a blessing. I pray that you would help me to nourish these new relationship and allow them to blossom. Lord, I do lift up the man I will marry someday. I pray that right now you would be at work in his life, and giving him a heart for serving others. Whatever struggles or temptations he may be facing, I just pray that his heart would be turned toward you. I pray that he too can experience the fullness and contentment that are found in you!
I lift up all my friends new and old. Specifically, be with those who are in transition. I pray that doors would open for anticipated jobs. I pray that broken relationships in their lives will be mended. And I pray that through it all, each one will experience you in new and exciting ways.
Thanks for knowing my heart before I even come to you Lord. What a comfort it is to know that we don't always have to know exactly what to say, for you know us and have a full grasp of what we need most--you. I pray that I will not lose sight of the fact that you see the bigger picture and I pray that I can live with the tensions of life knowing that it's all part of a grande scheme of something greater to come. Mold me and shape me, even when it hurts Lord. Use me and show me how I can grow deeper into my relationship with you.
It's been a long day and I need to sleep, but thank you for this day Lord!

Active Pursuit of the Beauty of Freedom in Christ

It's been a little while since my last post. So much has happened in the last few weeks. Being home was so refreshing. I cherished every minute of it. Being back just made me realize how thankful and blessed I am for genuine relationships with family and friends.
I'm still working on developing those kind of relationships here in Rochester and I have no doubt that God will provide new encouraging relationships . But it takes time for those relationships to blossom into something more than acquaintances. I love adventure and I miss having friends to call up who are willing to get up and explore with me. There is so much I want to see and do in Rochester, but it's not nearly as fun to do alone. I'm realizing more and more, that God has created me to be in need of relationship. Predominantly, relationship with him. Although the lonely times here are not fun sometimes, it draws me passionately into my relationship with Christ. He has so much that he wants to teach me, and I pray that I will be open and thirsty for all that he brings. While I actively seek out the thrill of a new adventure, I pray that I will seek Christ with that same enthusiasm.
Since I've been back and have been able to get my classes completed, I am looking ahead at new adventures. I have heard so much about Zumba. I hear it is a great workout and so fun! So, I found a class and I'm doing it! I want to find a church and get involved; either in leading a small group of teen girls or serving out in the community. And, I would love to find some babysitting opportunities. I'm filling up my calender with all the things I want to do, and I will do them whether I have people to do them with or not. Luckily, tomorrow Marti is free and we are going to Letchworth Park (the Grand Canyon of NY). My Rochester Bucket List is filling up, and it is now or never to complete them. I just don't want to take any moment for granted here.
On another note, I am an aunt!! My nephew Elliott James was born on July 10th. He is the most handsome little guy ever and I just can't wait to meet him. Being a distance from family during this exciting time is a challenge. Good thing babies don't remember their first year anyway, right? You better believe that next year, I will be all over spoiling that little man like crazy! I'm looking forward to getting back to Lancaster for a couple days in the 2.5 weeks, and then slipping down to Baltimore to meet Elliott.
Alright, well, I've got an uneventful night ahead of me. So, I think I am going to be a good student and go to a coffee shop and write my extra credit paper and review for my Saturday final.
Lord, I pray that you will fill me with a contentment that only you can provide. Show me where I can be used to bring you glory. I pray that you would give me a humble, genuine spirit that naturally overflows from the joy you bring me. I lift up all those who are lonely and feel lost tonight. Grant them the peace of your touch. Amen.

Renewed Perspective

I was browsing for an online devotional to start my morning and stumble across the words of John Piper. God spoke straight to my heart with words that I needed to here. I am eager to seek God in my singleness, but struggle with the same dilemma as most girls--the desire to experience a similar intimate relationship on earth, as I experience with Christ.

I've worried for too long about whether or not God will bring someone into my life. I have tried countless times to give everything up to God, and somehow the nagging feeling always comes back. But John Piper's words today spoke a new truth about singleness and portrays it in a way that excites me. Today...I think my perspective has changed and I will see my singleness as a purposeful design of Christ. He will bestow on my the blessing of purpose, if I choose to follow Him. I will not attempt to control my circumstances, but rather let Christ use me to bring birth to new believers.

Thanks Lord, for bringing this new perspective to me today and allowing it to resonate with and relieve my weary heart.

Here is a portion of what John Piper said @http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2007/2162_Single_in_Christ_A_Name_Better_Than_Sons_and_Daughters/

"My main point is that God promises those of you who remain single in Christ blessings that are better than the blessings of marriage and children, and he calls you to display, by the Christ-exalting devotion of your singleness, the truths about Christ and his kingdom that shine more clearly through singleness than through marriage and childrearing. The truths, namely,

1. That the family of God grows not by propagation through sexual intercourse, but by regeneration through faith in Christ;¹
2. That relationships in Christ are more permanent, and more precious, than relationships in families (and, of course, it is wonderful when relationships in families are also relationships in Christ; but we know that is often not the case);
3. That marriage is temporary, and finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing all along: Christ and the church—the way a picture is no longer needed when you see face to face;
4. That faithfulness to Christ defines the value of life; all other relationships get their final significance from this. No family relationship is ultimate; relationship to Christ is.

To say the main point more briefly: God promises spectacular blessings to those of you who remain single in Christ, and he gives you an extraordinary calling for your life. To be single in Christ is, therefore, not a falling short of God’s best, but a path of Christ-exalting, covenant-keeping obedience that many are called to walk."

The Luxury of Lancaster

A renewed appreciation. One month, after leaving for my newest journey, I am back home for a short visit to celebrate the wedding of friends and hopefully the arrival of my first nephew. My five and a half hour drive, left me alone with nothing but the presence of my thoughts and the humming beat of my newest playlist creation. Once again, I was confronted with my discomfort at being alone with my thoughts. So, I decided for the drive home I would talk to God. Just me and him, the open road, and no interruptions. It's incredible how much God can cover in such a short amount of time:)

My drive home was filled with marvel and questions. The mountains and scenery along rt. 15 are breathtaking. I felt as if I should have paid a fee for such a spectacle.

The questions came in the form of asking God, my purpose for being in NY. I can't deny that I feel so at peace there. I'm invigorated by my small sense of independence and opportunity to let God reinvent, shape, and mold me. But, ultimately, what does NY have to teach me that PA could not? The moment met with silence echoed a common theme I've been hearing from God for years...."Just Wait and See, You Won't be disappointed." Although I hear it often, the reminder that I don't have to plan the future and can just let God guide me, reassures me every time.

As I'm finally home, I breathe in deep and try to capture every bit of Lancaster County that tingles my senses. I am convinced that there is no place like Lancaster County. We have the gorgeous countryside that just begs for bike rides and early morning runs. At every corner, fresh produce and homemade goods tantalize taste buds. I attest, there is nothing better than a fluffy amish whoopie pie on a summers day.

Somehow, there is an unexplainable warmth about Lancaster. Perhaps it is just the familiarity of home that plays into my lavishing praise . I do not know what the future holds and where I will ultimately end up, but I will always anticipate Lancaster County visits and luxury that embarks on any adventure here:)

I am embracing every moment home, while trying to balance my responsibilities to my grad work. I've been rising early to beat the summer heat and grace the country roads with the traction of my warn-in puma sneakers. The remainder of the day has been spent digging through textbooks and journal articles, writing online posts for class, and formulating thesis' for my newest paper. The evening is left open to spend every possible moment with those I love. Today my day had a less upbeat tone though. My dog of 17+ years has become very uncomfortable in her old age. It's been decided that she will be put down tomorrow. This is a sad day for our family. This dog has been through so many of the life changes in our family since I was in Kindergarten. She is literally the most loved dog I know. Sometimes I think costumers at my dad's business came just to see her. But she has lived a full and happy life and we are excited to relieve her of any pain she is feeling right now.

On a lighter note, I am so excited for the Beach on Thursday. The whole experience of the wind and the lapping waves puts me at ease. Also, I anxiously await to become an aunt. Any day now, my sister and brother and law will have a little piece of each of them. Then, Saturday, I will celebrate the marriage of two great friends. They mesh so well as a couple and I can't wait to see how God uses them in the future.

Time to sign off now. I am eager to meet up with friends tonight!!!

Stretching beyond borders:)

Since my last post, I have had so much spontaneous fun. Saturday night, I met some new friends at a birthday party for another grad student. I learned poker, too! Then Sunday, I went with two new friends across the border into Toronto. What a neat city! We drove into the city and then from there took a fairy boat to an island right off of the city. Who new Toronto had islands:)
The island was so quaint and cozy. Several bungalows were hidden among gorgeous gardens. It was very shabby chic! There was also a bike trail the whole way around the island for walking and biking. Unfortunately, I did not exchange enough money to rent a bike, but it has now made my to-do list for the future:) There is something about the bikes with the big handle bars that just make me smile. The bikers just looked like they were having so much fun! Not only is the island gorgeous, but here is an amusement park right in the center!
After touring around the island, we went back to the city and ate a Rainforest Cafe. The meal was good, but the dessert was incredible, to say the least. For my friend's birthday, we ordered the volcanoe. It was 5 scoops of vanilla ice cream surrounded by layers of brownies. Chocolate and caramel sauce gushed out the top. They even put a sparkler on top. Needless to say, I felt like I should have been rolled out of the restaurant.
And now, I return back to reality. Hoping for a productive day of school work, I inevitably found a million and two other things to do:) Convenient how the most unpleasant tasks become so enticing when up against school work. The morning was relaxing and filled with running and swimming laps at the pool. I then wound up at Wegmans, the greatest grocery store on the planet.
It's funny how things turn out sometimes. Feeling gross and disgusting, I decided I did not care how disheveled I looked, I would still stop at the store since it was on the way home. I'm in Rochester and won't see anyone I know, right?.....Wrong!
As I perused the seafood aisle, scouting for the catch of the day for dinner, I looked over and saw a guy that looked very familiar. As I continued my trip, I could not for the life of me put his face with a place. Then, as I got into my car it hit me. He had attended the same college for undergrad. He was not someone I knew personally, but knew enough to recognize the face. What a small world. Even in Rochester, little pieces of the past are in the present!
Lemon Salmon splattered with dill sauce, rice, salad, and a pound cake later.....I ended my cooking/baking ventures and hit some school work. At least my assignments for this week are complete. However, I have a whole lot of things I want to get home before I leave for home on Sunday. So, I will finish my post, do a little more school work. Then, I will owe myself a little break, with The Bachelorette. I think the show is so absurd, but somehow I have become hooked.
As my to do list continues to grow, I just pray that the Lord will help me with diligence. I want to utilize my time as well as possible.

I am reading The Reason for God by Tim Keller and I am blown away by just the depth and richness of this book. Here is a recent quote that I found so though-provoking.

"Christianity not only leads its members to believe people of other faiths have goodness and wisdom to offer, it also leads them to expect that many will live lives morally superior to their own. Most people in our culture believe that, if there is a God, we can relate to him and go to heaven through leading a good life. Let’s call this the “moral improvement” view. Christianity teaches the very opposite. In the Christian understanding, Jesus does not tell us how to live so we can merit salvation. Rather, he comes to forgive and save us through his life and death in our place. God’s grace does not come to people who morally outperform others, but to those who admit their failure to perform and who acknowledge their need for a Savior." - The Reason for God

Sometimes I feel so undeserving of the grace of God. And then I have to remember, that is the very reason for such unconditional love--to bestow upon others what they don't deserve. Lord, I pray that you will humble me and help me to accept your unconditional love, even when I feel undeserving of such a sacrifice. Thank you for sending your son, to die a brutal death, just for my sins. And thank you for the hope that the resurrection brings into my life.
I pray that you would show me how to give that same grace to others, who sometimes don't deserve it. Please let the hope that I have in you, overflow into other people who I encounter each day. 'Cause we are are all just divine nobodies, with extraordinary purposes in each day!

Taming Transition

One month ago, I packed up my belongings and set out on my latest adventure with God--Graduate School. Over 300 miles later, I ended up in Rochester, NY. For the past few years, it feels like I have been migrating from place to place. Undergrad to home and now to NY. With each change, comes the inevitable transition. New friends, new experiences, new challenges are all a part of change. Normally, change is tough for me. I ache for some "normalcy" and can't wait to break into a regular pattern of life. Somehow though, this transition has been different.
I have been praying for months about my decision to come to Rochester. Deep inside, I knew this would be a huge leap of faith. To be far from the comfort of family and friends, I would only have one constant--God! And yet, this longing to just draw closer to God in this adventure continued to grow as I got closer to leaving. Now, as I'm here, I am thrilled about the experiences that God will place before me. I believe in a purpose for being here. While I do not know exactly why and may never know until I get to heaven, I am excited about it all. I'm excited for each morning to wake up and say, "Okay Lord, it's just you and me. Lead me where you need me to go, and show me where I can best grow. Grant me your grace and allow me to be vulnerable with you and others, so that we can develop a spiritual intimacy with you."
Coming to Rochester has been like a completely new start. Never before have I been in a place where no one knows me. No one has preconceived notions about who I am. I am not immediately the shy girl, the planner, or the youngest child. Here, I am free to be me, set a part from any labels that have previously been placed upon me.
I can truly say that it is only because of God that this transition has gone so well. While there have been plenty of days of longing for friends and family from home, it is always overcome by the expectancy that God is greater than my immediate desires. His perspective is so much greater than mine and the lonely moments will be overcome with busy and happy moments too. I am thankful for the few friends that I have already met and I anticipate the new friends that I will make. I am grateful for my friends at home who journey through life with me from afar.
So now, as the Grad assignments grow and study time increases, I want to praise God for these moments; the opportunity to come to such a great institution and learn how to best serve others in need and to grow in diligence. It may not be fun, but it is necessary for me. Sometimes I worry whether I have made the right choice coming to Grad school full time. But, any time spent with God, is never time wasted.
Rochester is my place between places. It is not my past left at home and it is not my final destination. I pray that I will live out my calling as a Christian, each day in the here and now. Here's to the ordinary, everyday people that will accompany me on this journey. Here's to the joyous and the hard times. And here's to the inevitable life lessons to come.

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up and the time comes."
Matthew 6 The message
(This is a verse I read in my devotions this morning. Quite fitting, I think)

Documenting Life

Blogging. I never thought I would see the day where my thoughts would stream so freely on an open computer page. Scattered in a misconstrued mess, my childhood journals depict my thoughts and feeling from life gone by. "Misconstrued" you may say? Well, I suppose I have kept these expressions personal for so long, thinking that if anyone would read them, they may misinterpret them without knowing the life context of the writing.
A picture can capture the outward appearance of a moment, but cannot do justice to the emotion of the moment quite like words. Journaling for me, has been a way to document life. I don't want to forget a single moment. From the invigorating moments to the challenging, I want to remember each lesson learned through life.And I want to document God's hand in it all. I want to process my moments with God, so that I can clearly articulate the joy and hope that Christ brings in my life within my everchanging communities.
I do not plan to specifically share this blog with friends or family or dream of hundreds of followers. If someone stumbles upon it and connects with what they read--Fantastic! However, for me, this is just a way to make my inner pondering something more than just a distant memory.
With that said, here goes nothing!